Tonight I went to dinner at the house of dear friends who had invited other dear friends who recently had twin girls. It was the first time I had seen the darling babies, and they were gorgeous, bright-eyed, delightfully alert and engaging babies. I fell in love. Just one problem: they were relentlessly fussy.
Now I am used to fussy babies -- my daughter, now 16, was the fussiest baby ever. I simply got used to putting her in various holds and going about my business. I could do a load of laundry and wash a sink of dishes while gently bouncing my fussy, whiny baby in the football hold.
Tonight, I soothed two fussy babies effortlessly, despite being aggressively hit on by a single father whose wife recently left him. Despite all the proclamations of: "You are HOT! You are totally HOT! You are going to be single for about nine minutes!" -- I managed to politely brush him off, and focus on totally quieting the babies while drawing pictures for his three-year-old daughter. In short, I impressed myself. Not only did I soothe and calm two colicky, fussy babies, earning accolades as "the baby whisperer,'' I managed to fend off the advances of a handsome and horny, yet certainly desperate, man. I am not going to jump into another relationship. I am going to mourn the one I lost, because it meant the world to me. And why? Because I am an adult. And I have learned. And it feels quite good to be an adult , despite the pain. I soothe fussy babies, not fussy adult, fragile egos. And that is how it should be.
9 comments:
You strong wonderful woman!
Once my baby is born (less than 9 weeks to go!) I'll pass him on to you if he's rotten and you still feel like whispering.
:)
Please do! I think I live close by, and I love nothing more than babies.
Collicky twins. I am getting faint just thinking of it.
I know. And they aren't on the same schedule. So when one isn't up and wailing, the other one is. Brutal.
The best way to turn a man off. Baby spit up. you should have over jiggled for a second, and he would have been off like a shot.
Come to think of that, it grosses me out too.
Anyhoo, I think it's great to learn that you have not lost your touch. I love calming babies for friends who are stressed out. It always makes *everyone* feel better.
Nicely done.
Jacy, thanks! I'll be sure to take you up on your offer, you're a superstar!
He hit on me WHILE there was a patch of spit-up on my shoulder! Do you suppose it was a turn-on? Some men get turned on by women's maternal sides. Some of the nicest men I know, actually. Hmmmm ... in a year or two perhaps I'll give him a shot.
I always found liquor helped with babies who were fussy at night. When I had a couple glasses of wine, it didn't bother me so much.
And yes, I breastfed. Gasp!
For me, it was one quick toke in the backyard. Totally defused my approaching freakout.
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